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'I really envy Mumtaz and Dani'

Mumtaz: You know they call that tree the kissing tree? There's some story that if you kiss someone under it you'll live happily ever after!

Bal: Mumtaz your so romantic, but what d'you reckon on marriage and all that? 'Cos, I dunno. I dunno what I think yet.

Mumtaz: Well, to me it's like two families getting together, and wives go to live with the husband's family, so really it's like joining another family. The families have to be similar though, and get on okay, because it's not like the couple are going to live on their own.

Anand: Well quite a few couples I know have gone off and lived on their own. Their marriages are more like the way white and black people get married, but the parents still take a big interest in who the partner will be.

Bal: What, and the families don't mind?

Anand: Well they spend a lot of time with their families anyway.

Bal: So what about like, dealing with problems?

Anand: Well it's still, like, when anyone has any problems, it's family who help out with money or looking after the kids or whatever.

Mumtaz: In my family when we get married we get really friendly with our husband's sisters and that, I think that's better than just being in a couple.

Dani: But what about, like, choosing someone in the first place?

Mumtaz: Well obviously I want to like whoever I might marry, and obviously I want to find them attractive, and yes, before you ask, maybe I do like David, but that's completely different to marrying someone isn't it?

Anand: Oi oi!! Proof! She's finally admitted it!!

Anand txt 2 Megan: Taz admits her & David R :- { } -:

Mumtaz: Shut up! Where was I - yeah, look - 'love' is something that comes later.

Balvinder: Well what happens if it doesn't? I hate the idea of it. My Mum goes mad if she hears of me speaking to boys, I feel scared of even getting friendly with someone in case someone grasses me up back to my Mum.

Mumtaz: Yeah. I dunno, it can be difficult. But it doesn't have to be a nightmare does it?

Bal: Well I don't want to marry somebody that my Mum or my uncles have picked out, somebody I've never met. It's really unfair when other girls like you, Danielle, can choose for yourself.

Danielle: But how come you've got to do it just because your Mum says so? She can't make you...

Balvinder: That's what you think! I tell you Danielle, you've got no idea. Like imagine having to tell your Mum you've been having sex with some hippie, that you're taking E every weekend and you're pregnant...

Dani: er yeah, I wouldn't relish that idea...

Bal: well it would be ten times worse than that for me. I'd get locked in the house, or sent to India. If I ran away I'd never, ever, be able to speak to any of them again. I mean, that would be it. Seriously, I'm not kidding

Mumtaz: But your Mum's marriage was arranged to your Dad wasn't it....

Balvinder: Well that's was okay for them, but they grew up in India and they didn't really see other ways.... I know they really loved each other and my Mum misses my Dad, but I know it wouldn't work for me...

Mumtaz: Well, it works for some. There's loads less divorce among Asians, and hardly any single parents, so our way can't be all that bad.

Anand: Yeah, what really gets on my nerves is when some Asian woman who's been badly treated gets in the news and people think all arranged marriages are like that.

Dani: It's not as if white and black wives are never beaten up or badly treated....

Balvinder: Yeah, but if someone is badly treated I think people are scared to say anything in case they get called racist. I know about women who've had really horrible husbands and have just been stuck with it.