"Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live?
Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence
which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet
taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge.
I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its
inhabitants, and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.
"When night came, I quitted my retreat, and wandered in the
wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave
vent to my anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that
had broken the toils; destroying the objects that obstructed me, and
ranging through the wood with a stag like swiftness. O! what a
miserable night I passed! the cold stars shone in mockery, and the
bare trees waved their branches above me: now and then the sweet
voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All,
save I, were at rest or in enjoyment: I, like the arch-fiend, bore a
hell within me; and, finding myself unsympathised with, wished to
tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then
to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.
"But this was a
luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became fatigued with
excess of bodily exertion, and sank on the damp grass in the sick
impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men that
existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness
towards my enemies? No: from that moment I declared everlasting war
against the species, and, more than all, against him who had formed
me, and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.
"The sun
rose; I heard the voices of men, and knew that it was impossible to
return to my retreat during that day. Accordingly I hid myself in
some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to
reflection on my situation.
"The pleasant sunshine, and the
pure air of day, restored me to some degree of tranquillity; and
when I considered what had passed at the cottage, I could not help
believing that I had been too hasty in my conclusions. I had
certainly acted imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation
had interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having
exposed my person to the horror of his children. I ought to have
familiarised the old De Lacey to me, and by degrees to have
discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they should have
been prepared for my approach. But I did not believe my errors to be
irretrievable; and, after much consideration, I resolved to return
to the cottage, seek the old man, and by my representations win him
to my party.
"These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon
I sank into a profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not
allow me to be visited by peaceful dreams. The horrible scene of the
preceding day was for ever acting before my eyes; the females were
flying, and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father's feet. I
awoke exhausted; and, finding that it was already night, I crept
forth from my hiding-place, and went in search of food.
"When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards
the well known path that conducted to the cottage. All there was at
peace. I crept into my hovel, and remained in silent expectation of
the accustomed hour when the family arose. That hour passed, the sun
mounted high in the heavens, but the cottagers did not appear. I
trembled violently, apprehending some dreadful misfortune. The
inside of the cottage was dark, and I heard no motion; I cannot
describe the agony of this suspense.
"Presently two
countrymen passed by; but, pausing near the cottage, they entered
into conversation, using violent gesticulations; but I did not
understand what they said, as they spoke the language of the
country, which differed from that of my protectors. Soon after,
however, Felix approached with another man: I was surprised, as I
knew that he had not quitted the cottage that morning, and waited
anxiously to discover, from his discourse, the meaning of these
unusual appearances.
"`Do you consider,' said his companion
to him, `that you will be obliged to pay three months' rent, and to
lose the produce of your garden? I do not wish to take any unfair
advantage, and I beg therefore that you will take some days to
consider of your determination.'
"`It is utterly useless,'
replied Felix; `we can never again inhabit your cottage. The life of
my father is in the greatest danger, owing to the dreadful
circumstance that I have related. My wife and my sister will never
recover their horror. I entreat you not to reason with me any more.
Take possession of your tenement, and let me fly from this place.'
"Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his
companion entered the cottage, in which they remained for a few
minutes, and then departed. I never saw any of the family of De
Lacey more.
"I continued for the remainder of the day in my
hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair. My protectors had
departed, and had broken the only link that held me to the world.
For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my
bosom, and I did not strive to control them; but, allowing myself to
be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards injury and
death. When I thought of my friends, of the mild voice of De Lacey,
the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite beauty of the Arabian,
these thoughts vanished, and a gush of tears somewhat soothed me.
But again, when I reflected that they had spurned and deserted me,
anger returned, a rage of anger; and, unable to injure anything
human, I turned my fury towards inanimate objects. As night
advanced, I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage;
and, after having destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the
garden, I waited with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to
commence my operations.
"As the night advanced, a fierce
wind arose from the woods, and quickly dispersed the clouds that had
loitered in the heavens: the blast tore along like a mighty
avalanche, and produced a kind of insanity in my spirits that burst
all bounds of reason and reflection. I lighted the dry branch of a
tree, and danced with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still
fixed on the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly
touched. A part of its orb was at length hid, and I waved my brand;
it sunk, and, with a loud scream, I fired the straw, and heath, and
bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned the fire, and the
cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which clung to it, and
licked it with their forked and destroying tongues.
"As soon
as I was convinced that no assistance could save any part of the
habitation, I quitted the scene and sought for refuge in the woods.
"And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my
steps? I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes; but
to me, hated and despised, every country must be equally horrible.
At length the thought of you crossed my mind. I learned from your
papers that you were my father, my creator; and to whom could I
apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life? Among the
lessons that Felix had bestowed upon Safie, geography had not been
omitted. I had learned from these the relative situations of the
different countries of the earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the
name of your native town; and towards this place I resolved to
proceed.
"But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must
travel in a south westerly direction to reach my destination; but
the sun was my only guide. I did not know the names of the towns
that I was to pass through, nor could I ask information from a
single human being; but I did not despair. From you only could I
hope for succour, although towards you I felt no sentiment but that
of hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! you had endowed me with
perceptions and passions, and then cast me abroad an object for the
scorn and horror of mankind. But on you only had I any claim for
pity and redress, and from you I determined to seek that justice
which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that wore the
human form.
"My travels were long, and the sufferings I
endured intense. It was late in autumn when I quitted the district
where I had so long resided. I travelled only at night, fearful of
encountering the visage of a human being. Nature decayed around me,
and the sun became heatless; rain and snow poured around me; mighty
rivers were frozen; the surface of the earth was hard, and chill,
and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth! how often did I
imprecate curses on the cause of my being! The mildness of my nature
had fled, and all within me was turned to gall and bitterness. The
nearer I approached to your habitation, the more deeply did I feel
the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow fell, and the
waters were hardened; but I rested not. A few incidents now and then
directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often
wandered wide from my path. The agony of my feelings allowed me no
respite: no incident occurred from which my rage and misery could
not extract its food; but a circumstance that happened when I
arrived on the confines of Switzerland, when the sun had recovered
its warmth, and the earth again began to look green, confirmed in an
especial manner the bitterness and horror of my feelings.
"I
generally rested during the day, and travelled only when I was
secured by night from the view of man. One morning, however, finding
that my path lay through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my
journey after the sun had risen; the day, which was one of the first
of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the
balminess of the air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure,
that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the
novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by
them; and, forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy.
Soft tears again bedewed my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes
with thankfulness towards the blessed sun which bestowed such joy
upon me.
"I continued to wind among the paths of the wood,
until I came to its boundary, which was skirted by a deep and rapid
river, into which many of the trees bent their branches, now budding
with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly knowing what path
to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices that induced me to
conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was scarcely hid,
when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was
concealed, laughing, as if she ran from some one in sport. She
continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when
suddenly her foot slipt, and she fell into the rapid stream. I
rushed from my hiding place; and, with extreme labour from the force
of the current, saved her, and dragged her to shore. She was
senseless; and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore
animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a
rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully
fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from
my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed
speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he
aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body, and fired. I sunk to the
ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the
wood.
"This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had
saved a human being from destruction, and, as a recompense, I now
writhed under the miserable pain of a wound, which shattered the
flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had
entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and
gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and
vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my
pulses paused, and I fainted.
"For some weeks I led a
miserable life in the woods, endeavouring to cure the wound which I
had received. The ball had entered my shoulder, and I knew not
whether it had remained there or passed through; at any rate I had
no means of extracting it. My sufferings were augmented also by the
oppressive sense of the injustice and ingratitude of their
infliction. My daily vows rose for revenge--a deep and deadly
revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish
I had endured.
"After some weeks my wound healed, and I
continued my journey. The labours I endured were no longer to be
alleviated by the bright sun or gentle breezes of spring; all joy
was but a mockery, which insulted my desolate state, and made me
feel more painfully that I was not made for the enjoyment of
pleasure.
"But my toils now drew near a close; and in two
months from this time I reached the environs of Geneva.
"It
was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place among
the fields that surround it, to meditate in what manner I should
apply to you. I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger, and far too
unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening, or the prospect of
the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of Jura.
"At
this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection,
which was disturbed by the approach of a beautiful child, who came
running into the recess I had chosen, with all the sportiveness of
infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed on him, an idea seized me, that this
little creature was unprejudiced, and had lived too short a time to
have imbibed a horror of deformity. If, therefore, I could seize
him, and educate him as my companion and friend, I should not be so
desolate in this peopled earth.
"Urged by this impulse, I
seized on the boy as he passed and drew him towards me. As soon as
he beheld my form, he placed his hands before his eyes and uttered a
shrill scream: I drew his hand forcibly from his face, and said,
`Child, what is the meaning of this? I do not intend to hurt you;
listen to me.' "He struggled violently. `Let me go,' he cried;
`monster! ugly wretch! you wish to eat me, and tear me to
pieces--You are an ogre--Let me go, or I will tell my papa.' "`Boy,
you will never see your father again; you must come with me.'
"`Hideous monster! let me go. My papa is a Syndic--he is M.
Frankenstein--he will punish you. You dare not keep me.'
"`Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy--to him towards whom I
have sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.' "The
child still struggled, and loaded me with epithets which carried
despair to my heart; I grasped his throat to silence him, and in a
moment he lay dead at my feet.
"I gazed on my victim, and my
heart swelled with exultation and hellish triumph: clapping my
hands, I exclaimed, `I, too, can create desolation; my enemy is not
invulnerable; this death will carry despair to him, and a thousand
other miseries shall torment and destroy him.'
"As I fixed
my eyes on the child, I saw something glittering on his breast. I
took it; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman. In spite of my
malignity, it softened and attracted me. For a few moments I gazed
with delight on her dark eyes, fringed by deep lashes, and her
lovely lips; but presently my rage returned: I remembered that I was
for ever deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures
could bestow; and that she whose resemblance I contemplated would,
in regarding me, have changed that air of divine benignity to one
expressive of disgust and affright.
"Can you wonder that
such thoughts transported me with rage? I only wonder that at that
moment, instead of venting my sensations in exclamations and agony,
I did not rush among mankind and perish in the attempt to destroy
them.
"While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the
spot where I had committed the murder, and seeking a more secluded
hiding-place, I entered a barn which had appeared to me to be empty.
A woman was sleeping on some straw; she was young: not indeed so
beautiful as her whose portrait I held; but of an agreeable aspect,
and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought,
is one of those whose joy-imparting smiles are bestowed on all but
me. And then I bent over her, and whispered, `Awake, fairest, thy
lover is near--he who would give his life but to obtain one look of
affection from thine eyes: my beloved, awake!'
"The sleeper
stirred; a thrill of terror ran through me. Should she indeed awake,
and see me, and curse me, and denounce the murderer? Thus would she
assuredly act, if her darkened eyes opened and she beheld me. The
thought was madness; it stirred the fiend within me--not I, but she
shall suffer: the murder I have committed because I am for ever
robbed of all that she could give me, she shall atone. The crime had
its source in her: be hers the punishment! Thanks to the lessons of
Felix and the sanguinary laws of man, I had learned now to work
mischief. I bent over her, and placed the portrait securely in one
of the folds of her dress. She moved again, and I fled.
"For
some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken place;
sometimes wishing to see you, sometimes resolved to quit the world
and its miseries for ever. At length I wandered towards these
mountains, and have ranged through their immense recesses, consumed
by a burning passion which you alone can gratify. We may not part
until you have promised to comply with my requisition. I am alone,
and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed
and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion
must be of the same species, and have the same defects. This being
you must create."
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