"It is with considerable difficulty that I
remember the original era of my being: all the events of that period
appear confused and indistinct. A strange multiplicity of sensations
seized me, and I saw, felt, heard, and smelt, at the same time; and
it was, indeed, a long time before I learned to distinguish between
the operations of my various senses. By degrees, I remember, a
stronger light pressed upon my nerves, so that I was obliged to shut
my eyes. Darkness then came over me, and troubled me; but hardly had
I felt this, when, by opening my eyes, as I now suppose, the light
poured in upon me again. I walked, and, I believe, descended; but I
presently found a great alteration in my sensations. Before, dark
and opaque bodies had surrounded me, impervious to my touch or
sight; but I now found that I could wander on at liberty, with no
obstacles which I could not either surmount or avoid. The light
became more and more oppressive to me; and, the heat wearying me as
I walked, I sought a place where I could receive shade. This was the
forest near Ingolstadt; and here I lay by the side of a brook
resting from my fatigue, until I felt tormented by hunger and
thirst. This roused me from my nearly dormant state, and I ate some
berries which I found hanging on the trees, or lying on the ground.
I slaked my thirst at the brook; and then lying down, was overcome
by sleep.
"It was dark when I awoke; I felt cold also, and
half-frightened, as it were instinctively, finding myself so
desolate. Before I had quitted your apartment, on a sensation of
cold, I had covered myself with some clothes; but these were
insufficient to secure me from the dews of night. I was a poor,
helpless, miserable wretch; I knew, and could distinguish, nothing;
but feeling pain invade me on all sides, I sat down and wept.
"Soon a gentle light stole over the heavens, and gave me a
sensation of pleasure. I started up, and beheld a radiant form rise
from among the trees.[1] I gazed with a kind of
wonder. It moved slowly, but it enlightened my path; and I again
went out in search of berries. I was still cold, when under one of
the trees I found a huge cloak, with which I covered myself, and sat
down upon the ground. No distinct ideas occupied my mind; all was
confused. I felt light, and hunger, and thirst, and darkness;
innumerable sounds rung in my ears, and on all sides various scents
saluted me: the only object that I could distinguish was the bright
moon, and I fixed my eyes on that with pleasure.
[1] The moon.
"Several changes of day and
night passed, and the orb of night had greatly lessened, when I
began to distinguish my sensations from each other. I gradually saw
plainly the clear stream that supplied me with drink, and the trees
that shaded me with their foliage. I was delighted when I first
discovered that a pleasant sound, which often saluted my ears,
proceeded from the throats of the little winged animals who had
often intercepted the light from my eyes. I began also to observe,
with greater accuracy, the forms that surrrounded me, and to
perceive the boundaries of the radiant roof of light which canopied
me. Sometimes I tried to imitate the pleasant songs of the birds,
but was unable. Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my
own mode, but the uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from
me frightened me into silence again.
"The moon had
disappeared from the night, and again, with a lessened form, showed
itself, while I still remained in the forest. My sensations had, by
this time, become distinct, and my mind received every day
additional ideas. My eyes became accustomed to the light, and to
perceive objects in their right forms; I distinguished the insect
from the herb, and, by degrees, one herb from another. I found that
the sparrow uttered none but harsh notes, whilst those of the
blackbird and thrush were sweet and enticing.
"One day, when
I was oppressed by cold, I found a fire which had been left by some
wandering beggars, and was overcome with delight at the warmth I
experienced from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into the live
embers, but quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain. How
strange, I thought, that the same cause should produce such opposite
effects! I examined the materials of the fire, and to my joy found
it to be composed of wood. I quickly collected some branches; but
they were wet, and would not burn. I was pained at this, and sat
still watching the operation of the fire. The wet wood which I had
placed near the heat dried, and itself became inflamed. I reflected
on this; and, by touching the various branches, I discovered the
cause, and busied myself in collecting a great quantity of wood,
that I might dry it, and have a plentiful supply of fire. When night
came on, and brought sleep with it, I was in the greatest fear lest
my fire should be extinguished. I covered it carefully with dry wood
and leaves, and placed wet branches upon it; and then, spreading my
cloak, I lay on the ground, and sunk into sleep.
"It was
morning when I awoke, and my first care was to visit the fire. I
uncovered it, and a gentle breeze quickly fanned it into a flame. I
observed this also, and contrived a fan of branches, which roused
the embers when they were nearly extinguished. When night came
again, I found, with pleasure, that the fire gave light as well as
heat; and that the discovery of this element was useful to me in my
food; for I found some of the offals that the travellers had left
had been roasted, and tasted much more savoury than the berries I
gathered from the trees. I tried, therefore, to dress my food in the
same manner, placing it on the live embers. I found that the berries
were spoiled by this operation, and the nuts and roots much
improved.
"Food, however, became scarce; and I often spent
the whole day searching in vain for a few acorns to assuage the
pangs of hunger. When I found this, I resolved to quit the place
that I had hitherto inhabited, to seek for one where the few wants I
experienced would be more easily satisfied. In this emigration, I
exceedingly lamented the loss of the fire which I had obtained
through accident, and knew not how to reproduce it. I gave several
hours to the serious consideration of this difficulty; but I was
obliged to relinquish all attempt to supply it; and, wrapping myself
up in my cloak, I struck across the wood towards the setting sun. I
passed three days in these rambles, and at length discovered the
open country. A great fall of snow had taken place the night before,
and the fields were of one uniform white; the appearance was
disconsolate, and I found my feet chilled by the cold damp substance
that covered the ground.
"It was about seven in the morning,
and I longed to obtain food and shelter; at length I perceived a
small hut, on a rising ground, which had doubtless been built for
the convenience of some shepherd. This was a new sight to me; and I
examined the structure with great curiosity. Finding the door open,
I entered. An old man sat in it, near a fire, over which he was
preparing his breakfast. He turned on hearing a noise; and,
perceiving me, shrieked loudly, and, quitting the hut, ran across
the fields with a speed of which his debilitated form hardly
appeared capable. His appearance, different from any I had ever
before seen, and his flight, somewhat surprised me. But I was
enchanted by the appearance of the hut: here the snow and rain could
not penetrate; the ground was dry; and it presented to me then as
exquisite and divine a retreat as Pandaemonium appeared to the
daemons of hell after their sufferings in the lake of fire. I
greedily devoured the remnants of the shepherd's breakfast, which
consisted of bread, cheese, milk, and wine; the latter, however, I
did not like. Then, overcome by fatigue, I lay down among some
straw, and fell asleep.
"It was noon when I awoke; and,
allured by the warmth of the sun, which shone brightly on the white
ground, I determined to recommence my travels; and, depositing the
remains of the peasant's breakfast in a wallet I found, I proceeded
across the fields for several hours, until at sunset I arrived at a
village. How miraculous did this appear! the huts, the neater
cottages, and stately houses, engaged my admiration by turns. The
vegetables in the gardens, the milk and cheese that I saw placed at
the windows of some of the cottages, allured my appetite. One of the
best of these I entered; but I had hardly placed my foot within the
door, before the children shrieked, and one of the women fainted.
The whole village was mused; some fled, some attacked me, until,
grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of missile
weapons, I escaped to the open country, and fearfully took refuge in
a low hovel, quite bare, and making a wretched appearance after the
palaces I had beheld in the village. This hovel, however, joined a
cottage of a neat and pleasant appearance; but, after my late dearly
bought experience, I dared not enter it. My place of refuge was
constructed of wood, but so low that I could with difficulty sit
upright in it. No wood, however, was placed on the earth, which
formed the floor, but it was dry; and although the wind entered it
by innumerable chinks, I found it an agreeable asylum from the snow
and rain.
"Here then I retreated, and lay down happy to have
found a shelter, however miserable, from the inclemency of the
season, and still more from the barbarity of man.
"As soon
as morning dawned, I crept from my kennel, that I might view the
adjacent cottage, and discover if I could remain in the habitation I
had found. It was situated against the back of the cottage, and
surrounded on the sides which were exposed by a pig-sty and a clear
pool of water. One part was open, and by that I had crept in; but
now I covered every crevice by which I might be perceived with
stones and wood, yet in such a manner that I might move them on
occasion to pass out: all the light I enjoyed came through the sty,
and that was sufficient for me.
"Having thus arranged my
dwelling, and carpeted it with clean straw, I retired; for I saw the
figure of a man at a distance, and I remembered too well my
treatment the night before to trust myself in his power. I had
first, however, provided for my sustenance for that day, by a loaf
of coarse bread, which I purloined, and a cup with which I could
drink, more conveniently than from my hand, of the pure water which
flowed by my retreat. The floor was a little raised, so that it was
kept perfectly dry, and by its vicinity to the chimney of the
cottage it was tolerably warm.
"Being thus provided, I
resolved to reside in this hovel until something should occur which
might alter my determination. It was indeed a paradise compared to
the bleak forest, my former residence, the rain-dropping branches,
and dank earth. I ate my breakfast with pleasure, and was about to
remove a plank to procure myself a little water, when I heard a
step, and looking through a small chink, I beheld a young creature,
with a pail on her head, passing before my hovel. The girl was
young, and of gentle demeanour, unlike what I have since found
cottagers and farm-house servants to be. Yet she was meanly dressed,
a coarse blue petticoat and a linen jacket being her only garb; her
fair hair was plaited, but not adorned: she looked patient, yet sad.
I lost sight of her; and in about a quarter of an hour she returned,
bearing the pail, which was now partly filled with milk. As she
walked along, seemingly incommoded by the burden, a young man met
her, whose countenance expressed a deeper despondence. Uttering a
few sounds with an air of melancholy, he took the pail from her
head, and bore it to the cottage himself. She followed, and they
disappeared. Presently I saw the young man again, with some tools in
his hand, cross the field behind the cottage; and the girl was also
busied, sometimes in the house, and sometimes in the yard.
"On examining my dwelling, I found that one of the windows
of the cottage had formerly occupied a part of it, but the panes had
been filled up with wood. In one of these was a small and almost
imperceptible chink, through which the eye could just penetrate.
Through this crevice a small room was visible, whitewashed and
clean, but very bare of furniture. In one corner, near a small fire,
sat an old man, leaning his head on his hands in a disconsolate
attitude. The young girl was occupied in arranging the cottage; but
presently she took something out of a drawer, which employed her
hands, and she sat down beside the old man, who, taking up an
instrument, began to play, and to produce sounds sweeter than the
voice of the thrush or the nightingale. It was a lovely sight, even
to me, poor wretch! who had never beheld aught beautiful before. The
silver hair and benevolent countenance of the aged cottager won my
reverence, while the gentle manners of the girl enticed my love. He
played a sweet mournful air, which I perceived drew tears from the
eyes of his amiable companion, of which the old man took no notice,
until she sobbed audibly; he than{sic} pronounced a few sounds, and
the fair creature, leaving her work, knelt at his feet. He raised
her, and smiled with such kindness and affection that I felt
sensations of a peculiar and overpowering nature: they were a
mixture of pain and pleasure, such as I had never before
experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I
withdrew from the window, unable to bear these emotions.
"Soon after this the young man returned, bearing on his
shoulders a load of wood. The girl met him at the door, helped to
relieve him of his burden, and, taking some of the fuel into the
cottage, placed it on the fire; then she and the youth went apart
into a nook of the cottage and he showed her a large loaf and a
piece of cheese. She seemed pleased, and went into the garden for
some roots and plants, which she placed in water, and then upon the
fire. She afterwards continued her work, whilst the young man went
into the garden, and appeared busily employed in digging and pulling
up roots. After he had been employed thus about an hour, the young
woman joined him, and they entered the cottage together.
"The old man had, in the meantime, been pensive; but, on the
appearance of his companions, he assumed a more cheerful air, and
they sat down to eat. The meal was quickly despatched. The young
woman was again occupied in arranging the cottage; the old man
walked before the cottage in the sun for a few minutes, leaning on
the arm of the youth. Nothing could exceed in beauty the contrast
between these two excellent creatures. One was old, with silver
hairs and a countenance beaming with benevolence and love: the
younger was slight and graceful in his figure, and his features were
moulded with the finest symmetry; yet his eyes and attitude
expressed the utmost sadness and despondency. The old man returned
to the cottage; and the youth, with tools different from those he
had used in the morning, directed his steps across the fields.
"Night quickly shut in; but, to my extreme wonder, I found
that the cottagers had a means of prolonging light by the use of
tapers, and was delighted to find that the setting of the sun did
not put an end to the pleasure I experienced in watching my human
neighbours. In the evening, the young girl and her companion were
employed in various occupations which I did not understand; and the
old man again took up the instrument which produced the divine
sounds that had enchanted me in the morning. So soon as he had
finished, the youth began, not to play, but to utter sounds that
were monotonous, and neither resembling the harmony of the old man's
instrument nor the songs of the birds: I since found that he read
aloud, but at that time I knew nothing of the science of words or
letters. "The family, after having been thus occupied for a short
time, extinguished their lights, and retired, as I conjectured, to
rest. |
